Family Matters (Part 8)

[00:00:00] All right, we're going to be in Proverbs. We're going to go to the infamous, the infamous Proverbs, Chapter 22, the famous verse, the most, the most well known verse in all of Proverbs, probably in all of the Bible regarding, regarding child rearing. All right, so we're going to be in Proverbs. So the, the final thing we're going to study under family matters, which is one of the major themes in Proverbs. And we have several more to go through. But the final kind of sub theme that we haven't covered. But actually, I didn't write down all the verses, but there's at least twelve or 15 verses on this subject alone in Proverbs, just on the subject of what we're talking about today, not counting the general parenting verses that we've already covered. So what we're going to study this morning is the principles of child discipline because they are all over Proverbs. All right, so let's start in 22, verse number five. [00:01:05] And let's pray before we read verse, not verse number five, verse number six. I apologize. So let's pray first and then we'll read Proverbs 22, verse six. Our Lord, thank you for the opportunity to meet together. Thank you for each person in the class here. And, Lord, there's also some, no doubt, that are listening in because they can't be here with us this morning. Lord, I pray for your blessing to be upon, upon each and every person listening. Lord, I pray that you indeed would be the teacher and that your word would be the subject. And that, Lord, we would, each one of us, no matter our stage in life, would glean and would profit and benefit from what your word says here this morning. [00:01:46] Lord, help our church, especially with the families in our church, to be strong. [00:01:52] Help our church to have families where the mom and the dad love one another, where the children know that they are loved and are raised in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, would you please raise up families from here among us that would do that? And Lord, I pray for those that are already past a stage of life where they are raising chIldren. But, Lord, they can serve as godly examples with experience. And, Lord, I just pray that you would work it all out according to your word and according to your desire. And so we look to you now as we study these things in Jesus name. Amen. [00:02:30] I'm getting. All right. [00:02:34] Proverbs 22, verse number six. The Bible says, train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Okay? We have already studied and we have already examined the difference between a proverb and a promise. Okay? Now here's the problem. If there's one verse in Proverbs, if there's one verse in proverbs in which a caveat is always given about a proverb and a promise, it's this verse. It's this verse. In other words, almost every, I mean, I've, I've heard this verse preached many times, and almost every time it's preached immediately after, they'll say, train up a child in the way he should go when he is old. He will not depart from it. Now, remember, this is a proverb, not a promise. In other words, they kind of backtrack a little bit. But remember, we did look at the difference between proverbs and promises, and a promise is something that has no exceptions. But a proverb is a generally applicable truth. Okay? And so all of the proverbs are like that. That's why the book is called proverbs. And so these are generally applicable truths. So there will be exceptions not only to this proverb, but to many other proverbs as well. There are exceptions to it, but the exceptions did not negate the truth of the proverb. And this is especially true in this particular verse. So let's look at what it says. Train up a child in the ways you go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. The first thing I want us to look at is the word train up, train up. [00:04:20] So I'm going to just make some statements that I hope are beneficial to all of us with children or grandchildren. Okay? [00:04:29] Because sometimes, even if you don't have children like young children anymore, you still have influence with your children in the way. [00:04:39] I understand That's a touchy subject in a lot of families, that the grandparents, who are the parents of the parents, sometimes the child's parent is not exactly open to the meddling of the parent. I don't think it should be like that, to be honest. [00:04:55] I think every person that is humble and is willing to recognize the difficulties and the shortcomings that they have in child rearing, as an example, should be open to good, sound advice and especially from people that you trust. But see, the problem is, I'm just being transparent here. The problem is sometimes the young parents have seen inconsistency with the older parent, their parents, and so they don't really trust their advice because they've seen the way that they were raised and the way what they're saying now are different. There's an inconsistency there, but it shouldn't be like that. So what I'm saying is there's lessons to be had for younger parents with younger kids, and there's lessons to be learned from grandparents who are watching their children raise children. [00:05:52] The first thing is train up every parent. Listen. Now, every parent should intentionally direct the development of habits, practices, values, and standards for his child. Now, the first thing I want you to see is it says, train up a child in the way she go. The word train. [00:06:12] The word train is not just teach. [00:06:15] If you think or if I think that you're going to sit down and teach your child something and then walk away, and that is just going to come to pass, you can forget it. [00:06:25] The word train implies repetition. It implies instruction, right. Repetition. When I was in the military, in fact, this same word train was used of Abraham's servants. [00:06:37] I think there's only two times in the Bible the word train is used. And one time is here, and the other time is when Abraham took his trained servants out to fight. [00:06:47] Remember that battle that Abraham had in the association with Lot, the people of Sodom? [00:06:55] In other words, if yOu're going to train in the context of the military, there's instruction. The drill instructors give you Instruction, right? If you're in the army, the drill sergeants, they give you instruction, and then they drill you through repetition. They teach you until that becomes second nature. It becomes a part of who you are. And so when I came back from the military or when I was in the recruit training, everybody told my wife, who was my fiance at that time, oh, he'll come back different. He'll come back different. You know what? I did not. Maybe, hopefully not in bad ways, but the things that were drilled and trained in me became a part of who I was permanently, and some of them to a greater degree than others. But here's the thing. [00:07:40] So if you're going to train your children, if I'm going to train my children, it's going to be through instruction. It's going to be through repetition, and it's going to be through correction. How many times? I mean, I remember one time I was in the Marine Corps, we were paying attention. We were doing dress, right? Which is when you. Let me see if I can remember right. [00:08:00] I think you do this arm and look to the right. Yeah, that's right. It's been a long time, and I thought I had my chin. You're supposed to crank your chin as far as it will go. And I thought I did, but the drill instructor was standing on the end of the column looking down at the chins, and apparently it wasn't exactly where it needed to be. And he corrected me rightly, and I cranked it more, but apparently not far enough. And then he wasn't happy after that, because then I got smoked, which is when they, you guys probably know what I'm referring to, called it maybe something a little bit different, but nobody likes it, so it's correction. So I'm trying to say correction, instruction, repetition, correction. Train up a child. Those three words are inside that word right there. [00:08:52] So what I want you to see about this verse, though, is that it says, train up a child in the way he should go. So although the person who's doing the training is not mentioned now, note that it doesn't say parents train up a child. It just says, train up a child. [00:09:06] Okay. It just says, train up a child. I'll mention that more in a minute. Here's the thing. Of course, this is obviously directed to parents because we're the ones that have the greatest influence on our children, or we should be. [00:09:18] Also, this verse is what we might call amoral or aspiritual. What do I mean by that? Is this verse is not saying, train up your child in the ways of the Lord. It doesn't say that. Now, of course, we know that's what proverbs, the intention of proverbs. We see that in Ephesians. Bring them up. Right. Fathers bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. So it's found in other parts of the Bible. But remember, we're talking about proverbs. This is a generally applicable truth. Here's what that means that you as a parent have a great. You have a prerogative about what you tell your kid, what you teach your kids, and how you train them, not just in spiritual things. That's obvious, right? You should be directing them in the ways of the Lord. That's obvious. But we forget sometimes that beyond that, children also have to be trained in practical things, habits, values, practices, standards that aren't necessarily biblical. Of course, all of our training as believing parents should be consistent with the Scripture, right? It should be from the Scripture and consistent with the Scripture. But there are many things that we need to train our kids that aren't directly in the Bible. You teaching your kid to clean up his room despite you thinking that cleanliness is next to godliness, is actually in the Bible. It's not. [00:10:44] But there are many things we teach our kids that aren't in the Scripture. Here's the point of this proverb. Whatever values, whatever habits, whatever standards, whatever practices that you want your child to do when they're older, you have to train them to do it. You have to put forth, I will have to put forth intentional effort to direct them. So what values are important to you? [00:11:14] Not just in spiritual things, although definitely true there, but in practical things. Is it important to you that your child is Tidy, has good hygiene, that your child is honest in all cases? Right? Is it important that your child is respectful? Now, we know there's a little bit of Bible here and there. You can maybe apply to that, but a lot of these things are just practical things. Are those important to you? Listen, as a parent, you have the prerogative to set the guidelines. That is your department. [00:11:44] Now, we know there is a prevailing wisdom that says we'll let kids make their own decisions. [00:11:58] That's stupid. [00:12:01] That's dumb. [00:12:04] We say, let kids make their own decisions. And we acknowledge there's a kernel of truth. You want your kids to have the opportunity to make right decisions. Right. And that has to be tested. So there is a kernel of truth. But the problem is this idea, this philosophy of let your kids make their own decisions. You don't need to dictate to them what their values and standards and practices and habits should be. That is the philosophy of. That's parenting in this world right here. Oh, you're a helicopter parent. Have you ever heard that term? Because you. I know there are people that go to excess and they won't let their kids try out new things. I get all that. [00:12:39] But here's the thing. [00:12:42] By that philosophy, we let our kids become unguided. [00:12:46] And here's the reality. If our children are not guided and trained by us, they will, 100% will be guided by somebody. [00:12:55] You know why? Because they're impressionable and they don't know stuff, and they have questions, and there will be somebody to guide them. And in our day, do you know what that is these days, more than almost anything else? [00:13:08] Their peers and TikTok. [00:13:12] You say, I don't even know what TikTok is. Well, you might want to do a little bit of research. [00:13:17] Did you know that people under 30, the number of people under 30, some 60% of people under 30 get all of their news from TikTok. [00:13:29] That's where they are informed about everything that's going on in the world. TikTok, somebody is informing, somebody is training our kids. [00:13:40] So we can say, wEll, we'll let them make their own decisions. That's not going to happen. It'll be done by other people. Other people will train our kids. [00:13:49] That's why the Bible doesn't mention parents in verse six, because other people have keyed in. Listen, these wicked people in the world have keyed in on this fact that, look, we can train other people's kids. [00:14:04] We can tell them what their values and habits and standards should be, and they do. [00:14:13] Yes, I hope I've seen the village. [00:14:18] Exactly. The village is pretty bad. [00:14:22] So listen, if someone else trains up our children, they will follow that pattern the way he should go. And when he is old, he will not depart from. That'll be the case with our children. But it won't be us training them. It'll be somebody else. That's the reality of this. It'll be TikTok, it'll be their peer group, and it'll be ungodly, godless educators who have an agenda. This all exists even in Greenville County. [00:14:52] It happens. [00:14:54] It happens. [00:14:57] You got trans ideology. [00:14:59] That's a big thing these days. I mean, in Greenville, the Bible Belt, that's the number of people that have people that have kids in public schools, elementary school, middle school. The girls are just going crazy, just chasing after each other with. They call it a social contagion. With this trans ideology, if we don't guide them, others will, and they will follow that pattern. [00:15:31] So parents should deliberately instruct, train and discipline their children. [00:15:36] So we have this idea again, let them make their own decision, like we're giving our kids freedom, as if our family is some, like, constitutional Republic. My family is not. [00:15:46] My family is not a constitutional republic where they have the First Amendment to say whatever they want or to go wherever they want and do wherever they want. That's not the way a family is. It's not supposed to be that way. The parents are supposed to train and guide them. Listen, some people feel guilty. That's why I'm saying this. Some parents feel guilty because they assert their place to train their children. You don't have to feel Guilty. You say, well, not everything I say is exactly in the Bible. That's okay. [00:16:19] That's okay. [00:16:20] You are the parents. You are the parents. You're not a government. You're a parent. [00:16:26] You're not obligated to grant some constitutional freedom to your kids under the guise of letting them make their own decisions. No, God has put you, he's put me in our children's lives to teach and train them. [00:16:40] So we should deliberately instruct them. [00:16:46] Do you want to determine, it says in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Do you want to determine the way that your children are on the path that they're on when they're old? Do you want to determine that? [00:17:04] Is that something you want to mold or are we just like, well, whatever, let them make their own decisions? [00:17:13] Listen, that idea is not biblical and is not godly. [00:17:19] Because the reality is, if we do not take hold of this, our kids will. [00:17:24] Their nature will take over and that will not end up well. That will not end up well. Notice what it says. Train up a child in the way he should go again. That way is determined by the parents. [00:17:40] If our value system, if our habits and our standards are in error. And that's what all parents do. You know what parents train their kids. The default is where do parents get the information that they tell their children? Where do they get it? You know, where they get it from their parents. [00:17:55] Unless we have some greater standard, we pass on the wisdom, be it good or bad, we pass it on what we've received to our children. That's the way it works. Unless God intervenes in our life with some greater wisdom from his word, that's what we pass on. And you know what that means? Sometimes we pass on bad things. How many of you that are a little bit older recognize now that some of the things your parents taught you weren't helpful? [00:18:20] Some examples they set weren't right? [00:18:24] That's true of me, of course. [00:18:30] And so if our habits and practices and values and standards are off or an error, and then we therefore pass it on to them, because that's the prevailing wisdom. What's going to happen all of a sudden? One day you're going to look at your kid and you're going to think, you think you're looking in the mirror, they will carry it on. That's what this is. This is amoral. Whatever we train them is what they're going to have. Be it good, be it bad. [00:19:00] Now notice what it says. And when he is old, train up a child in the way he should go. When he is old, he will not depart from it. You compare your child to concrete. [00:19:15] Concrete truck comes in and pours concrete for a sidewalk, for anything. Anything. This build of concrete, when the concrete is still wet, you pour it in, it can fill a mold, you can make it do almost what, anything you want. [00:19:34] But as time goes on and that water and that interaction happens inside the concrete that begins to set, it gets harder and harder to change and what was once very easy to mold is now rigid and difficult. [00:19:51] And that's the way children are by the time they get older. Listen, all of us, every person in here, of course, we know this, but I'm speaking to adults now. Every person in here was once a child. And you can see in yourself that you're not as flexible and moldable like you once were. You find it, probably find it very hard to make alterations in your life, do you not? It is very hard. You know why? Because you're older. This is what the verse is saying. [00:20:22] So that means we must train our kids now. [00:20:30] Now. [00:20:31] We must do the work now when they can be molded. Because once they harden, whatever pattern they're in is the way they're likely going to be permanently, like concrete. [00:20:47] The only exception to that, the only exception to that is a work of the grace of God, because the Lord can do it. He can tear up the concrete and build something brand new from the ground up. He can. But you ought not be trusting in that. Otherwise, you're not following the wisdom of the proverb. As Christian parents, this is what usually happens, and sometimes, thank the Lord, he intervenes in our lives and fixes a bunch of mistakes. But as a general rule, this is how our kids are going to turn out right here. [00:21:18] So we should make sure that we're trying to mold them. Now, look at verse number 15, if you would. [00:21:29] This is an important principle before we get to a few other things. [00:21:32] Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. First part of that verse. Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child. Here's the lesson of this verse. [00:21:45] Notice is speaking of a child now, not an adult, not someone who has dived deep into sin and experienced all the wickedness of the world. No, this is a child. It says, foolishness is bound in the heart of a child. It's the word tie. Right? Tied up. That means that your child has a wicked nature, even from the womb. My children do, too. We know that ourselves and us, when we were small. But when we look at our kids and we see kids and parents listen, parents in ignorance assume their children are good little boys and the girls and they are not. To assume that is to be an error. And you know what? Because they trust their kids, they act contrary to this truth. [00:22:33] Now, again, there's extremes. You can absolutely mistrust your kids. You can be an absolute, dominating parent who doesn't allow your kids to have any liberty and freedom. And I wouldn't advocate for that. But the opposite extreme is just as bad. [00:22:49] To trust your children and act as if they are good, and in all circumstances, they're going to make right decisions. They're not. [00:22:59] This verse is saying, we all children have wicked natures from the very womb. It's already there. [00:23:07] It was present from the beginning, and we didn't teach it to him. It was already there. [00:23:13] See, we have to understand human nature in order to understand what will and will not work. When we talk about child discipline, you see, that's one of the fundamental errors with the humanist, the secular, the evolutionary worldview. Because the evolutionary worldview that is peddled on the news, TV shows, the science world, and in most religions. It's basically, how many of you have heard this on TV? I believe people in their core are good people. Politicians say this stuff all the time, Barf. It is not true. And it starts when they're little. [00:23:55] Because we are born. We come into this world speaking lies. We have a nature that's foolish. From our very foundation, we got to understand that with our kids. [00:24:08] This verse also reminds us, foolishness is bound in the heart of a child. This verse also reminds us that our child will do wrong no matter how we raise them. [00:24:19] They will. You think of Robert and Seth? Not quite Nathaniel yet, but Robert and Seth. They're good kids, as far know, relatively speaking. Right? They're polite and all that. Do they do wrong? [00:24:32] Does that ugly nature come out? They can thank you, Joseph. They can thank you, Joseph. Their father. [00:24:40] Yeah, it's not. [00:24:44] I mean, look, no matter how good, no matter how well we train our kids, we have to understand they're going to do wrong. Now, of course, that's not an excuse for us not to train them or really try hard and pray over them and stuff, but they're going to do wrong because it's part of their nature. Foolishness is already present. Johnny is not a sweet little boy. [00:25:03] He's not. [00:25:08] This is why we see, and if you'll just flip over to 29, Chapter 29, verse 15, this truth kind of comes up again. Notice what it says. Chapter 29, verse 15. The Rod and reproof give wisdom. But a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Why? Why does that happen? Why does a child left to himself bring it? Bring his mother to shame? It's simple. Because he has a wicked nature. And if nobody trains that boy or that girl, that nature is going to take over, and the result is not going to be good either for the child or, as we studied last week, for the parent, when a child is left to his own devices and we don't intentionally and deliberately teach our children and intervene, and sometimes that means instruction. Sometimes that means correction. If we don't do that, his nature will take over. [00:26:06] That's the way he is, and that's the way he will be until such time as he gets a new body at the resurrection. [00:26:15] Now, let's look at a few verses on the rod of correction. Remember, training up a child is instruction. It is repetition, and it is correction. [00:26:28] All right, look at very quickly, look at chapter 22, verse 15. [00:26:35] Look at several verses in quick secession. Here, foolishness. We already read this is bound in the heart of a child. But look at the second part. But the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. Notice the correction is referred to as the Rod. A rod, a physical stick. All right, we might call it a hickory. [00:26:59] How many of you all have experience with the hickory? [00:27:04] Actually, I think this rod is probably not just a hickory. If I'm honest, we would not normally call a flexible, thin little stick a rod, but we can just settle for hickory. Look at chapter 23, verse 13. [00:27:21] Withhold not correction. Again, the word correction from the child. For if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Don't get afraid at that word beat. Look, don't get afraid. [00:27:31] There's a right way to administer corporal punishment, and there's a wrong way. Just because it says beat doesn't mean anything. But what we do know is if anybody tries to wiggle out of what Proverbs is saying on the subject of administering corporal punishment, that is physical discipline, and say, well, it's not really talking about a real rod, it's just talking about correction. [00:27:54] It's a euphemism. Or another way to say timeout. [00:27:59] The timeout of correction. [00:28:02] No, because of the mention of crying, he shall not die. [00:28:08] Look at verse number 29. [00:28:12] I got my verses confused. Look at chapter 29, verse 15. [00:28:23] Notice what it says. The rod and reproof give wisdom. [00:28:29] Notice the rod is the physical discipline. The reproof is the verbal. [00:28:35] You got to have both properly exercised corporal punishment. And I'll say that every time properly exercised, corporal punishment combined with proper instruction is the way to get good result. [00:28:56] That's why both are mentioned, both the verbal and the physical. Look at chapter 13, if you would. Verse 24th. His Rod hateth his son, but he that loveth him chasteneth him be times. [00:29:22] Chapter 19 says, look at that. 19, verse 18. [00:29:30] This one is the one that mentions crying. That I mentioned by mistake. Chapter 19, verse 18. Chasten Thy Son While there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying. So let's just put it out there plainly. This is not something we should ever be ashamed of. It doesn't matter what the law says. It doesn't matter what state laws vary from place to place. It's not against the law to apply corporal punishment in South Carolina. There are places where it is like striking your child in any measure is against the law and you could be arrested for it. South Carolina is not one of those places. There's a right way to do it, there's a wrong way to do it. But let it be said. Proverbs absolutely teaches that one of the methods of correction is physical discipline, period. All right. It's not referring to something else. It's not allegorical or symbolic or anything. No, this is physical discipline. Now I'm going to say a few other things about that in just a minute, but now I want to make a couple of, couple of observations about corporal punishment referring to children, because I think these things are important. [00:30:44] Look, having had children and having used corporal punishment on my children, I've learned a lot. I've learned a lot of what not to do, right. [00:30:54] And a lot of what to do, and I've learned what works and what doesn't work. [00:31:00] But here's just some practical thoughts while we're on the subject, as opposed to other methods of discipline. [00:31:11] Corporal punishment is quick, it is non manipulative, and it is straightforward. Here's what I mean by that. [00:31:20] Corporal punishment is quick because the correction does not drag out into a long and tiring process, both for the kid and for the parent. [00:31:30] If you've ever done the whole timeout routine, once the child keys in, it doesn't take like one or two times. The child starts to key in on that and it'll be a long drug out process every time because remember, kids have that wicked nature and they're just as manipulative as we are, and they're learning how to do it. [00:31:51] And this fact, the fact that corporal punishment is quick is actually helpful to the parent. Number two, it's non manipulative. You see, here's the issue. Much of what passes as discipline these days are attempts at manipulating our child into abandoning bad behavior. We're trying to use psychology to manipulate them. [00:32:11] In other words, you're not trying to get them to see something as wrong. [00:32:15] And then next time say, it's not worth it. [00:32:18] It's somehow trying to alter their state of mind. Look, how many of you have ever heard, oh, we don't spank, but we do time out. And our kids, they hate timeout more than anything. How many of you have ever heard that? [00:32:32] Why would we find a punishment they hate more than anything? [00:32:37] I could think of a punishment that they would hate more than spanking if I was trying to. [00:32:42] I'm not trying to do that. I'm not trying to find the thing they hate the most. I'm trying to use a biblical method. You see what I'm saying? [00:32:52] You see? And here's the thing. When we use other methods that aren't direct and we try to manipulate our child into obeying, our child doesn't readily understand that. [00:33:06] They don't readily get that they're a child. We might understand what we're trying to do, but the child doesn't understand what we're trying to do. [00:33:14] And lastly, corporal punishment is straightforward. In other words, it's simple. The child immediately understands what's happening and why it is immediately understandable. And when it's combined rightly with reproof, which is rod and reproof, we just read that the child immediately understands what is happening and why it is happening. The punishment comes, it's done, and we move on. [00:33:45] And when corporal punishment is properly applied in love with verbal instruction and reproof and explanation, it does not teach your child to hit. That is the number one thing I've heard about corporate. Oh, we don't do that. We don't want to teach our children hit. If you spank your child, you're teaching your child to hit. ThAt is not true. That is false. That is what I wrote down here after thinking on it. That is an unsubstantiated lie of psychologists that willfully ignore properly applied corporal punishment and that seek to characterize all corporal punishment as physical abuse. [00:34:27] That's what's happening in this world is anybody who applies corporal punishment is just lumped together with the drunken father who, in a rage, beats on his child. Those people ought to be arrested. [00:34:41] That's not what we're talking about. Physical punishment applied in a rage, physical punishment applied to excess. Physical punishment applied without instruction very well likely will have bad effects on your children. [00:34:55] Absolutely. If you fly off the handle because you can't control, I can't control our tempers. Yeah, our kids are going to learn that when you're in a rage, you hit people. Absolutely. [00:35:07] But that does not corporal punishment in the Scripture. [00:35:11] That's not what the Bible teaches at all. [00:35:17] Look at 23, verse 13. Again, if you would withhold not correction from the child, for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. [00:35:31] This verse is telling us, in applying corporal punishment properly, don't let pity become the enemy. [00:35:41] Oftentimes we pity our child, so we don't apply the proper punishment because we pity them. And I pity my kids. I mean, when we were doing it, I pitied my kids. [00:35:51] But do we not pity their future and the negative result of not appropriately correcting behavior? Should we not pity their future? We should. So pity should not be an excuse to not apply it. [00:36:05] Look at 13, chapter 13, verse 24. Some of these I know we've already read, but just to kind of put them before us again, I'm going to lose my time here. But he that spareth, verse 24, he that spareth the rod hateth his son, but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. [00:36:31] Now, the idea of using physical punishment, the idea that if you use properly applied corporal punishment, you don't love your child is false. This verse says this. [00:36:48] And the idea that not using physical corporal punishmEnt, properly applied, is a sign that you do love your child is also false. But you have to understand this word hate. [00:37:01] To hate means to feel intense dispassion, dislike towards a person or thing, to feel animosity toward, to loathe, to detest. [00:37:10] Listen, there's a lot of parents that don't apply corporal punishment. And I am not going to sit there and say, if you don't properly spank your child, you don't love your child. I'm not going to say that. And that's not the proper understanding of this verse at all. We know people naturally love their children, even people that don't use corporal punishment. So what is this talking about? [00:37:28] What is this talking about? And to be honest, it's foolish to tell a parent who obviously loves his child that he hates his child because he's not raising his child in the way that the Bible says he should or whatever. [00:37:44] This is the same kind of hate that we find that Jacob had with Leah. [00:37:51] The Bible says that he loved Rachel more than Leah. And the next verse in Genesis, chapter 29, verse 31, it says, and when the Lord saw that Leah was hated, now we know that Jacob loved Leah, he just loved Leah, not as much as Rachel. And the Bible uses the term hate to describe that. What about in Luke? In Luke 14, the Bible says, jesus said, if any man hate not his father or his mother, remember that verse? [00:38:22] That's not talking about hate in the absolute sense. It's talking about a relative measure of love. [00:38:29] And there's other examples if you want to write them down. Genesis 29, verses 30 and 31. Malachi One, two through three. [00:38:38] Jacob, have I loved? Esau have I hated? [00:38:42] You have. John 1225. You can look those up when you get a chance. [00:38:48] All this verse is saying, he that spareth the Rod hateth his son, but he that loveth him, chasteneth him be times. He's not saying that. You don't use proper discipline. You detest your child, and you want ill to come upon him. No, it means the problem is love. There's a love problem there. [00:39:09] The love is faltering. That's what that verse is saying. In other words, we can't just look at the present. We have to look at the whole life of the child. [00:39:19] Now, just some practical advice. I know we're about out of time. I probably should have already gotten buzzed, but he forgot. He forgot. [00:39:26] Here's some practical advice on corporal punishment. [00:39:30] Reserve corporal punishment as a final correction. [00:39:34] Try verbal correction first and escalate from there. [00:39:38] And I can give these two if you want them later. Never apply the rod of correction in anger under any circumstance. [00:39:46] It is counterproductive. [00:39:50] Always calmly explain the child's transgression to him and give him a verbal correction. That's biblical. We saw the verse. [00:39:59] For our family, we reserve corporal punishment for foolishness, stubbornness, rebellion, and repeated and willful forgetfulness. [00:40:12] Kids say, well, I forgot. [00:40:14] That's always kind of been an issue. [00:40:17] We do not usually use it for simple negligence. Forgetfulness. When a verbal correction is sufficient, we do not use corporal punishment for everything. [00:40:28] Corporal punishment is not a substitute for instruction or for being an example to your kids. [00:40:36] Corporal punishment is not a cure all. [00:40:40] It will not fix everything. [00:40:43] At a certain age, corporal punishment should stop. [00:40:46] There's no honor in bragging, and I've heard this in bragging about whipping a 17 year old. [00:40:54] There's no honor in that. [00:40:56] Don't ever administer corporal punishment to someone else's child. [00:41:01] I don't care how bad they are, how bad their parents are. Don't do it. Just as a practical matter, don't do it. [00:41:08] This violates the principle in Hebrews twelve six. How that the Lord doesn't chasten those that are not his children. All right. [00:41:17] It is also unwise to do, especially in our current environment. Do not brag about corporal punishment. We should be grieved that it's necessary. [00:41:28] If it's a joy or a point of pride, you need to get right with God. [00:41:36] Once the punishment is over. Let it be over. Drop it. [00:41:40] No psychological or emotional manipulation. [00:41:45] Do not threaten. And especially do not threaten, then fail to carry out the punishment. [00:41:51] A single word of warning is proper. [00:41:55] It just some practical advice on that. [00:42:00] So the Bible plainly teaches this truth. But it does matter how it's done. It does matter how it's done. But when it's done right, the scripture says it'll bear good fruit in our children's lives and in the lives of in ours as well. Let's pray.