Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] One corinthians chapter seven. And we will start reading in verse number one.
[00:00:05] But this time I'll pray before we begin.
[00:00:10] All right, let's pray together. Our Lord we come to you now thank you so much for the opportunity to pray and thank you for your people, the body of Christ, your believers, your children, your sons, your daughters. Thank you for them.
[00:00:25] God, I pray for this church, that you would be glorified through it, that you would be glorified through each one of our lives, that we would shine as lights to those around us, and not just through us individually, but also through the light that comes from a Godly home.
[00:00:46] And as we look at One Corinthians, chapter seven, and these doctrines, these truths, these commandments, Lord, would you please help us to receive them? Would You Please help these things to benefit us, to guide us, to strengthen us, help us to know Your will.
[00:01:05] And Lord, encourage Your people, Lord, and help them to be faithful to you. And help me as well as I try to help them tonight. Lord. I can't do anything without you. So ask Your blessing upon our time together in Your word, in Jesus name, amen.
[00:01:19] One corinthians chapter seven. We're going to continue on our kind of mini study on the doctrines of what the Bible teaches on marriage, divorce and remarriage. Actually, it's more like the doctrines of divorce and remarriage because we could get bogged down very quickly if we just talked about marriage.
[00:01:40] And of course, that's a fine thing to talk about. In fact, in our Sunday school, in our major theme study of Proverbs, we are going to be touching on that at some point because that is definitely a major theme in the book of Proverbs. But tonight we will look at just this, chapter one, Corinthians, chapter seven.
[00:02:03] I really want to get down to verse ten, but I feel like I need to make a few comments as we go. And I just want to let you know off from the start that I'm going to try to be discreet. I'm not going to go verse by verse necessarily through this, but I would like to make a few comments. But I will try to be discreet because of the kids and such, but it's in the Bible, so we'll try to walk that tightrope a little bit. Verse one says, now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. Okay? Now, in its proper context, forget about what you've heard about this verse. In its proper context, this is actually Paul recommending that people don't get married. Okay? That's what he's referring to in this. Now, there are other ways you can apply that, and there's reasons that Paul is saying that the churches were facing persecution and those kinds of things. But this is the context. One day we'll cover these verses in great detail maybe, but that's what he's talking about, and you'll understand what it means in just a minute. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife and let every woman have her own husband. So he's obviously not advocating for celibacy, but he's trying to use wisdom and thread the needle a little bit for the current situation that they're in, especially this church.
[00:03:38] So he says in verse three, let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
[00:03:47] The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband. And likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Okay? Now that verse verse three and verse four are primarily talking about the intimate relationship between husband and wife. Okay?
[00:04:06] That's what's being spoken of. You mean God talks about that? Yeah, and this isn't the only place.
[00:04:12] It's in a number of places in the Bible. Proverbs has a lot of them, and sometimes you just kind of won't let's just keep reading. Let's just kind of keep going. But this is what the Scripture says about it. But for discretion, remember what I said the other day?
[00:04:31] On Sunday night, we were talking about marriage. We were talking about the roles of husband and wife and how that the husband and the wife both need one another. God created the husband with the man with a need he was lacking without his wife. And God created the wife with her purpose being to help him. So there was a mutual need. Listen, we're not trying to toe anybody's line about what so and so says about what a woman should be or what a man should be or a husband or a wife. We're not toeing any lines. We're just trying to look at what the Bible says. And the Bible does, as Ms. Brooks said in her letter, does elevate the status of women wherever it goes without listen, I saw this, and I saw this is a meme, not a meme. I think it was an advertisement for a wedding photographer. And these two people were being photographed to celebrate their I believe it was the birth of their baby, like they were expecting parents or something like that. But the two people were two men, and they were being photographed to celebrate the baby that was being carried as an instrument in the body of a woman in the background.
[00:06:10] That doesn't elevate the place of a woman, does it? She's just a tool for these sodomites to pervert society and pervert themselves and pervert that child.
[00:06:28] The scripture doesn't do that. The Scripture, in fact, for all that the world says about women and how that they feel so useless because they're just taking care of kids, that very thing is the superpower of the woman.
[00:06:45] That is the superpower. And that's something no man can touch.
[00:06:53] And that's what the Scripture actually teaches. That's what it says it elevates the place of a woman. And there's a lot of bad listen, there's a lot of bad in the Scripture dealing with women. Men mistreating women. But just because it's in the Bible doesn't mean it's approved, does it? God gives accurate narrative. That doesn't necessarily mean it's right.
[00:07:16] So I'll just move on from this. This verse says the same thing.
[00:07:22] The man doesn't own his wife, they own each other.
[00:07:28] You see that? That's what the verse says. Verse but remember in verse number three and verse number four and I'll keep going in verse five defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer and come together again. That Satan tempt you not for your incontinence defraud to deny someone that which is their right to have. That's what it's talking about. But this is talking about the intimate relationship, both directions, all right? And it says that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. That is incontinency is the inability to restrain yourself. That's what it's talking about. Which is a reference to the carnal desires in men and women.
[00:08:11] So basically what the Bible is saying is that that relationship, that intimate relationship between a husband and wife is something that they are supposed to give to one another and they're not supposed to withhold it because when that is withholden, the devil gets an opportunity. That's what the verse is saying. Of course, that's not a good thing.
[00:08:33] And there's a lot more that goes into that as far as being mindful and caring for one another and loving one another and putting the other before oneself. But just know this subject is not taboo to God.
[00:08:48] Marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled, but hormongers and adulterers. God will judge. It's funny because we can watch TV. I hope we doesn't include anybody in here but we can watch TV and watch all kind of filthy immorality and we can do so without any kind of blush at all.
[00:09:10] We see ungodliness and filth, but when you see the holy version, we blush and we're ashamed. No, it shouldn't be that way. We should be ashamed when we see the ungodliness.
[00:09:23] All right, verse six. But I speak this by permission and not of commandment. For I would that all men were, even as I myself. That's what I was referring to in verse number one.
[00:09:34] But every man hath his proper gift of God. One after this manner, another after that. I say therefore to the unmarried and widows it is good for them if they abide even as I, that is, without being married. But if they cannot contain, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with lust. All right, verse ten. And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord.
[00:10:00] Now, listen to these words let not the wife depart from her husband but and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And let not the husband put away his wife. It's a very clear command. And this is a command that Paul specifically says. This is not me talking, this is the Lord talking. All right? I remember the things we talked about on Sunday.
[00:10:29] On Sunday we talked about how that the marriage relationship is not just like any other relationship that someone might have, like in a business setting or a friendship or a neighbor with one of your neighbors. Because a marriage relationship involves an actual bond that the Lord describes as a physical bond, one flesh physical bond that God joins two people.
[00:11:00] I just want to make sure we understand it, because when we study these things later, the further we go in this study of marriage, divorce and remarriage, this is going to matter a lot.
[00:11:11] This is not God bringing two hearts together like they say on Hallmark.
[00:11:16] This is not that. This is God joining a man and a woman to be husband and wife. And they become one flesh, not heart, flesh. All right? This is a physical bond. That's what I'm trying to say. And when God joins them, he says, let not man put asunder we can't, willy nilly just separate them. That's not how this works.
[00:11:41] Again, God is the lawmaker. He established the first marriage with Adam and Eve, literally taking Adam's body and with that making Eve. And that is the basis for marriage. That's what we learned on Sunday.
[00:11:56] And so this is established by God and therefore it must be ruled only by God's laws. His laws establish it, his laws rule it. Okay? So in verse number ten, the Bible says very plainly, the Lord commands it. This is a command from God, let not the wife depart from her husband. He says the same thing in the next verse, verse eleven to the man, let not the husband put away his wife.
[00:12:25] So I say this, I don't hesitate.
[00:12:29] It is a sin to get divorced without outside of the law of God. It is a sin to initiate a divorce outside of the law of God, because when a person does that outside of what the Lord permits, he does so in violation of God's commandment. That's what we read here. Malachi, chapter two, says it very plainly that God hateth putting away and if for listen, I know we talk about marriage being about vows. I said vows. You said vows when you got married. If you were married, you said vows. And those vows are solemn. They're before witnesses. There is supposed to be a very solemn event. But let me ask you something.
[00:13:26] Have you kept your vows?
[00:13:31] Think about it. Because the vow to be given to your spouse and to no other is just one part of the vow. What about the love, honor and cherish?
[00:13:46] I don't know of a couple alive, married couple alive that's been married more than about five minutes that can say they've kept those vows.
[00:13:57] I'm just being honest with you.
[00:13:59] I think every one of us has lost our temper. You can't live with somebody and not lose your temper or get upset or get angry, get miffed or whatever, but that violates the vows. So here's what I'm saying. I'm not saying we shouldn't have vowels. We should have vows. Vow your heart out and try your best with all your heart to keep it. And when you don't keep it, you say, lord, I'm sorry I didn't keep my vows. You tell your spouse, I am so sorry I didn't keep my vows, but I am renewing my effort to keep my vows. That's good. That's good.
[00:14:27] But marriage is not about vows. It's not just about vows.
[00:14:32] It's about the law of God, the Commandment. So why do we stay married when things are hard, when we don't get along, when we're incompatible?
[00:14:47] And oftentimes in marriage, here's what happens. Marriages get into a death spiral where each side, the wife and the husband are hardening themselves against the other over and over. And those of you that have been married a while know what I'm talking about. You just get harder and harder and harder and harder and each one of you digs in and then you get into this death spiral where everything that's done makes it worse and worse and worse until the point that many people see, they think there's no way out. But the law of God still says if you initiate that divorce, you are sinning.
[00:15:26] That's important for us to understand.
[00:15:30] That's important for us to understand. We have to establish that there's a lot more to this story you all know that there's a lot more to this story of marriage, divorce and remarriage than what I just said. But a lot of divorces are just because people can't get along.
[00:15:48] A whole lot of divorces are just because of that reason.
[00:15:54] All right, let's move on. Verse eleven. But and if she depart all right, so in verse number ten, the Lord commands the woman and of course the man not to get a divorce. And then it says in verse eleven, but and if she does, that's like the Lord saying it's in one John, chapter one, the first John, chapter one, says these things have I written unto you that you sin not. But if any man sin, we have an advocate with the father, right?
[00:16:22] What does that tell us? That obviously indicates that despite the Lord's warnings, we do stupid. Despite the fact that the Lord forbids divorce, we still do it. And so the Lord gives directions for that case. Aren't you glad that the Lord doesn't hold you to everything that you should have done at all the times? Once you've done it, once you've gotten that thing right, once you've asked the Lord to forgive you, and to cleanse you, and you've repented of it.
[00:16:53] He starts right there and he works with you. From that point. He doesn't go back, he doesn't hang it over your head and be like, well, you know back then what you should have done. You messed up, you blew it, you're done. He doesn't do that.
[00:17:07] He gives a contingency commandment for a woman or a man who does the wrong thing, who divorces, seeks a divorce from their husband outside of the law of God.
[00:17:20] He says two options let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband.
[00:17:29] There's two options. But in either case this is why it's important for us to understand that the bond is a bond, is a physical union god hath joined to one flesh.
[00:17:44] In either case, whether she remains unmarried or whether she be reconciled to her husband that is, they get back together, which is good. That is not something to be discouraged if a divorce happens and one of the two seeks a divorce and they can later find a way to reconcile, that is ideal.
[00:18:06] But of course, this world is just not ideal.
[00:18:10] It's just not ideal. And especially on this subject, it is rarely ideal, almost never ideal.
[00:18:19] So there is two options remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband or to his wife, as the case might be.
[00:18:26] In either case, notice, though, that the physical union that is the basis of marriage is preserved because she's unmarried or she reconciles with her husband. So that is not violated. There is no adultery that is not violated. That's what we see in this verse.
[00:18:49] But note the Lord does not require her to be reconciled. There is an allowance made for her to remain unmarried, but notice it is to remain unmarried. It is, in this case, to remain unmarried. All right, verse twelve. But to the rest, speak I not the Lord. If any brother we're going to read down to verse 16. If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
[00:19:17] And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband. Else were your children unclean, but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God hath called us to peace.
[00:19:44] For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? Or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
[00:19:53] All right, this is a separate case. So in verse ten and eleven you have a situation where there's just what I might for lack of a better term, they're just incompatible, they can't get along, and one of them seeks a divorce, they get divorced, and that's God's direction. All right, this is a case where you have one who's a believer and one who's not. Perhaps they got married that way, which was outside of the will of God, but once it's done, it's done right.
[00:20:21] You have to start there. Once you're married, there's no takebacks. Even if you married outside of the will of God.
[00:20:28] I'm sorry, maybe you missed the one God had planned for you, the one that you looked up in the sky and saw the same moon or whatever, but you're stuck now.
[00:20:39] I mean, I'm just being frank with you. That's why it's important to get it right.
[00:20:45] Get it right on the front end, and you won't have to worry about that on the back end, say, men right there.
[00:20:52] But in this case, say a person got married and one of them was a believer, one wasn't, or perhaps one of them got saved. We're going to blame God for that? No, but it is a realistic situation. The world's not ideal marriages are not. Ideal marriages are sometimes difficult. And I want to tell you something.
[00:21:15] After we get done with this study on divorce remarriage, you're going to have more questions, and I definitely have questions that linger, and I'm not going to be able to answer them all, and you aren't either. And there's not a preacher alive that can just because there's not enough information to dissect every single situation that sin brings into this world.
[00:21:38] But we're going to do our best.
[00:21:40] So he says if one is an unbeliever, and it says if the unbeliever is pleased to dwell with the believer, they say the believer should not initiate a divorce because the unbeliever if the unbeliever is willing to remain in the marriage. And sometimes they're not.
[00:22:01] Sometimes they're not.
[00:22:04] Now, imagine when you have a believing spouse.
[00:22:10] You have a believing spouse who's married to an unbeliever. Maybe the believing spouse got saved and has a changed life. But then they have an unbelieving spouse that's still living like the devil. Probably bringing wicked and ungodly things into the home. Probably foisting upon the family, probably harming the kids. Probably bringing all kind of turmoil and sin and difficulty into that relationship, all because he just doesn't know God.
[00:22:40] I imagine that that's a very difficult place to be in, especially when your kids are being affected, is it not?
[00:22:47] I'm glad that I'm very thankful to God that my kids have two parents who have God in them.
[00:23:00] I'm telling you, that's practically miraculous.
[00:23:12] But you can understand that there would be a great deal of turmoil, and it might be the believing spouse in that circumstance might be tempted to just get out of this. It's not worth it.
[00:23:25] It would be easier without this, all the evil and sin and turmoil that's coming in. And so that's why this is addressed.
[00:23:34] And so the Lord says actually, Paul says, giving his spirit directed wisdom, if we can put it like that. He says, if your unbelieving spouse is willing to stay with you despite all of that, he says, then stay.
[00:23:54] Then stay. Don't leave. Stay for two reasons. Number one, your kids.
[00:24:02] Number two, your spouse.
[00:24:08] He says in verse number 14, else were your children unclean, but now are they holy? Now, I can't say I know what that's referring to exactly. I have a few theories maybe, but I'm not going to tell you, sit here and tell you theories. But what I can tell you is the fact that one of the spouses is a child of God and one of them is not puts the children as, if you want to say viewed by the Lord as if both spouses were saved.
[00:24:40] There's a positive effect upon the children. However, that actually turns out, the fact that they're holy, it says. Now that doesn't mean they don't need to get saved themselves or they're automatically it doesn't mean anything like that, obviously, but there is a positive effect upon the kids. And we're not talking about a stable family home. That's all true as well, but this is primarily spiritual. Spiritual.
[00:25:04] So for that reason that believing spouse should stay, and for the second reason is verse 16. I love the way it's stated, what knowest thou a wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? How do you know if you might not be instrumental in them getting saved and you're just going to leave? What about them?
[00:25:25] And so for those two reasons, the Lord says, combined with verse number ten, let not the wife depart from her husband. Eleven, let not the husband put away his wife. That's key in this as well. But when all those combined that's a good argument. Paul is arguing stay if they will have you even though you're weird and you're a freak and all you care about is God now and you don't do all the things that they like to do, if they'll have you, then you stay. Okay, let's just say from the outset that is not a fun circumstance for that believing spouse to be in, right?
[00:26:06] That's not fun, that's a trial. That's difficult, that's painful. But listen, we do not decide our courses of action based upon the ease or difficulty of said action.
[00:26:20] We do it based upon what God says.
[00:26:24] And sometimes because of sin in this world, sin brings us into a circumstance that we absolutely abhor.
[00:26:34] But the Lord still wants us to obey Him, even when it's hard, because there's more to this than just our own comfort, the kids, their relationship to God, the soul of that spouse. Verse 16 we walk by faith, not by sight. And sometimes that walk takes us through difficult circumstance that sin brings upon us. You know what, you take a person who gets saved married to an unsaved spouse. What did that person do wrong to be in that circumstance? Nothing.
[00:27:12] Believed in Christ.
[00:27:14] They did nothing wrong. And yet this unpleasant circumstance is put upon them. All you can do is all you can do is commit it to God and trust that God's, and I use this term very, very infrequently. But that God's sovereignty that he puts you in this place for whatever purpose he has and that he can sustain you in it.
[00:27:39] Looking for the exit is not always the best thing to do.
[00:27:45] Now, look at verse 15. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. All right? There are cases, we know, again, if you cannot talk about marriage, divorce, and remarriage without understanding that this is hardly ever ideal. It's often difficult. All right, in this case, lady gets saved, man gets saved, and the spouse just will not have it, no matter what they do. They try to be holy, try to be wife, tries to be meek. Like Peter says, they try to do everything the right way. The man tries to love his wife and all those kinds of things, and they just will have none of it, and so they leave.
[00:28:27] The Bible says a brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases. All right, let's say this. First of all, the person from whom they departed, the believer, that person does not have any fault in this matter.
[00:28:45] They stand before God despite the fact that they are marred with a scarlet D.
[00:28:54] I'm using that facetiously again.
[00:29:01] I hate divorce. I came up in a family with divorce. My mom has been married and divorced many times. My grandmother was married and divorced and remarried.
[00:29:13] Same thing with my dad. Listen, that's my life. I mean, I know all about that. I hate it.
[00:29:19] But just because someone has a scarlet D again, I'm being facetious doesn't mean they did something wrong.
[00:29:30] It could be that their spouse did something wrong. It could be that they got saved and their spouse didn't want to get saved or live with them.
[00:29:44] I think divorce should have a stigma, inasmuch as it's the quick and easy way out that should be stigmatized.
[00:29:54] But we should not hesitate to minister to and help people that are dealing with that situation.
[00:30:02] And often, notwithstanding what I've just said, often divorce, both people are at fault, often just the reality of it.
[00:30:17] But in verse number 15, a brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases. Now, some people use that phrase because it says not under bondage. They understand it to mean, okay, well, if they're saved and their spouse leaves because they don't want to be married to a believer anymore, then that person is then free to remarry. The problem with that is the last clause of the verse. It says, But God hath called us to peace.
[00:30:49] That is the key to understanding the bondage. Also, the last verse of the chapter, or next to the last verse of the chapter, the wife is bound by the law. Same word, as long as her husband liveth.
[00:31:03] But if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to marry whom she will. In other words, the word bound is referring to staying in the marriage. All right, so you look at this. A brother or sister is not under bondage, you're not bound to stay in the marriage. In other words, if whatever Sam comes to you, I hope I don't think anybody's named Sam if Sam comes, you says, I don't want to be married to you anymore. I'm tired of this Jesus stuff. And he says, here's the papers. You got to sign it.
[00:31:35] You might tend to say, no, I'm not signing it ever. I will never, ever sign it. The Lord says sign it.
[00:31:44] But sometimes we're loathe to do that because of the scarlet D, right?
[00:31:52] But this is pretty clear. The Lord says, a brother or sister is not in bondage in such cases. In other words, take the path of peace in reference to staying in the marriage. They don't want it, you can't keep them.
[00:32:10] Now, verse 17 says, but as God hath distributed every man, so the Lord hath called everyone, so let him walk. We'll come back to this later. Is any man called being circumcised? Let him not become uncircumcised. I'm just skipping around a little bit. Verse 20. Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he is called art thou called being a servant, care not for it, but if thou mayest be made free, use it rather.
[00:32:40] Verse 24 brethren, let every man wherein he is called therein abide with God. Well, what happens if God calls you and you're already divorced?
[00:32:51] Well, what happens if God calls you and you're already remarried on your fourth marriage?
[00:32:57] And I'm talking to calling this is a reference to someone being saved.
[00:33:02] You see, those are the questions that people ask that create more and more questions, but they're valid questions. And I think this might not answer everyone, but it definitely gives us some understanding. Okay, we're almost finished.
[00:33:18] Verse number 27.
[00:33:21] Art thou bound unto a wife, seek not to be loosed.
[00:33:26] Art thou loosed from a wife, seek not a wife, but and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned. And if a Virgin Mary, she hath not sinned, nevertheless, such shall have trouble in the flesh, but I spare you.
[00:33:41] Okay, talking about being loosed, I've also heard people use that verse to say, well, if you're loosed from a wife, that is, you've been divorced, you can go get remarried at will. But it's not that simple. It's not that simple. Now, going down to the very end, verse number 39.
[00:34:02] And this is really going to be kind of the foundation for our next leg of the study. The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth. But if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom. She will. Only in the Lord.
[00:34:20] Only in the lord.
[00:34:23] Okay, now, I just want to make a couple of comments to close at the top of my notes. I put this intending to go a different direction, but this is what I wrote.
[00:34:43] Causes that make divorce permissible.
[00:34:49] Causes that make divorce permissible, according to what we've read in this chapter, okay? I'm not looking at anything else. I'm just looking at this chapter for now, okay? I know there's other verses that deal with it.
[00:35:05] What are the causes, according to this chapter, that makes divorce permissible? There's only one the unbeliever chooses to leave.
[00:35:18] Betty's the only one.
[00:35:21] And that is not initiating a divorce. That's being on the receiving end of the divorce.
[00:35:30] According to the chapter we've looked at so far, the information we have so far, there is not a case in which divorce is permitted to be initiated by a child of god, according to what we've read up to this point. Again, there are more verses that we're going to look at later. But that's what I want you to understand.
[00:35:54] Brothers, sisters, that's a high bar. And, boy, is it different than this world.
[00:36:01] Is it different than this world. Now, immediately, when I say that, immediately, there's somebody in the back of the crowd.
[00:36:09] No, I'm just joking. Somebody in the back of the crowd says, what about if the lady's getting abused?
[00:36:19] All right, there's ways to deal with that. But the point being is the exception doesn't overturn the rule.
[00:36:30] The exception doesn't overturn the rule. Okay? So when we look at this chapter, what we see is actually pretty revealing for someone who is going through a circumstance in which it is out of their power. The lord says, take the path of peace.
[00:36:53] You're not wearing a scarlet d.
[00:36:56] All right?
[00:36:58] But every other case in this chapter, the lord says there is no cause for someone to seek a divorce.
[00:37:08] That's pretty strong.
[00:37:09] I mean, you just forget about the question of abuse for a minute. Incompatibility can't get along, differences in raising kids, differences in religion, differences in whatever, none of those are causes. None of those are permissible causes.
[00:37:39] And I think what the lord's telling us is this thing about marriage that god established, and we'll see it even more later, is serious business to the lord, and he does expect us to remain faithful to our spouse. He does expect us his standards are high. Marriage is honorable. And you know how you keep it honorable?
[00:38:04] By making the standards for it high. Right? That's how you keep it honorable. Amen. Let's pray.
