Sparing Our Words & Slander

[00:00:00] Okay, so we are winding up our major theme, study and proverbs on the subject of the lips or the mouth of the words. [00:00:09] Not sure how many more lessons on this particular subject. We have a good bit to go through today, but it'll be. I think it'll be pretty fast. [00:00:18] And so let's turn in the Bible to the 10th chapter of proverbs. Proverbs, chapter ten. [00:00:26] And we will look at verse number eight. We'll pray first. [00:00:34] Then we'll look at verse number eight. [00:00:36] And there's two kind of subheadings or subjects underneath the topic of the words or the lips that I want to cover today. So hopefully we can get through them all. Let's pray together. Lord. Lord, we thank you once again for this. This day. Lord, we're reminded of the fact that even though last week was the week that we set aside to celebrate your resurrection, Lord, we are. [00:01:03] We are cognizant that you are risen. You are risen today as well, and you are alive forevermore. And, Lord, we thank you that we have a God to whom we can pray, who is alive, not only alive in the spirit, but also has overcome death. [00:01:22] And, Lord, as we look forward to the future and the things that goings on for the rest of the year in our church, we pray that you would just guide our steps and help us, Lord, to just do exactly what you'd have us to do. I pray that this Sunday school class in general would be a great blessing to the people that come to it. That you would enable them to grow and to grow in the wisdom, knowledge and grace of God. I pray that you would bless our class today as we look in proverbs at these subjects. And you would guide me to know what to say to help them. And I pray that you would bless Sister Pam and Sister McLean and Priscilla and those that are teaching the kids downstairs. Please give them understanding and wisdom and help them as they teach also. So, Lord, we commit this time to you in Jesus name. Amen. [00:02:13] Okay, so we want to talk about the subject of sparing our words. Sparing our words. This is a common theme in proverbs. We'll see in chapter eight, verse chapter ten, rather verse number eight. The Bible says this, the wise in heart will receive commandments, but a prating fool shall fall. And then you drop down to one verse to verse number ten. The Bible says, he that winketh with the eye causeth sorrow, but a prating fool shall fall. Prating fool. [00:02:50] Now you'll see an association with actually both of our subjects. You'll see an association with the word fool with both of them. But in this case, a prating fool. Does anybody know off the top of your head what the word prate means? [00:03:06] Oh, you cheating. You cheat. Okay, go ahead. Go ahead. What does it say? A fool of lips. A fool of lips. That's a good way to put it. [00:03:15] That is a good way to put it. Exactly. A prating fool is someone who prates means to talk or chatter, to speak foolishly. Boastfully, or at great length, especially to little purpose. Also, another word is prattle. Prattle. And so you have this idea of, although this verse does not say specifically that we should spare words, it does identify a type of person who is known to just babble, to just talk, to be a talker. [00:03:56] And of course, we know. I mean, this goes without saying that we know there are some people who are more talkative than others. Yesterday, Ben and I met a family who goes to Reedy River Baptist church. [00:04:07] Very friendly couple. And the wife was a talker. Now, I wouldn't say she was a prating fool. She didn't say anything foolish, but she was one who likes to talk, and her husband was the exact opposite. So I guess they kind of goes together. [00:04:24] But someone who prates is just unimportant, just foolish, boastful talk. Lots of talk, lots of speech. Now, the question I thought about when I thought about the idea of prating or just talking on about silliness and insignificant things is this. Why do people generally chatter with trivial talk? I mean, you guys know what I'm talking about. You interact with people. You know, some people are given to just to just talking. It's not about anything important or anything significant. It just. In other words, you're filling the space with words. Filling space with words. Why do people do that? And I think the reason often is because they want to fill the space. [00:05:13] Have you ever. Was that exactly. Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and you didn't have anything else to say, and the other person did not have anything else to say, and you just stood there and looked at each other? Or more than likely looked kind of around each other? [00:05:30] How many of you enjoy that situation? Nobody likes that. It's uncomfortable. And so what we do is we fill that gap with words. With words. Now, we'll see a little bit further on why that's not a wise thing. Now, I understand. [00:05:48] This is a prating fool. Okay, so it's not just someone who talks and fills in space with. With words. This is someone who talks foolishly like brother Darrell was saying with. With his Bible, the note on this Bible. But. [00:06:01] But it does give us an interesting point to consider, which is that we should learn to be a little bit comfortable with silence if the only other option is to. [00:06:15] Is to say foolish things or insignificant or otherwise useless speech. And it goes again, we'll see in just a minute why that matters. [00:06:28] But useless speech, multiplying of words, can cause us problems. Okay, so sometimes the awkwardness of silence urges us to say things that we probably shouldn't say just to fill the space and avoid the awkwardness. I don't know. In my generation and the generation under. I'm considered a millennial, and under me is Gen Z, and then under that is Gen alpha, I think. Right. [00:06:55] These generations I just described to you are terrified of awkwardness. [00:07:04] Terrified of awkwardness. They do everything in their power to avoid it. They're afraid of being embarrassed and shamed more than other generations, I think. [00:07:15] And so one thing they do is they fill it with words. [00:07:19] But this raises another question about our words. The idea of prating. It raises the question of the weight of our words. How many of you are familiar with the verse in one kings, chapter ten, where in the days of Solomon, because there was so much prosperity. In the days of Solomon, there was so wealth was so abundant that the Bible says that gold and silver, I think it's specifically silver. All of Solomon's dinnerware and cups and all that stuff, all that was gold, and it wasn't even a big deal. There was so much gold, and then there was. And then everything else was silver, and it wasn't even valuable. All that valuable because there was so. Such an abundance of silver. In the days of Solomon. The Bible says that it wasn't even accounted of. It was just some common thing. Silver was. [00:08:15] Why did I bring that up? Because it's the same principle with our words. [00:08:19] The more common our words, the less they weigh, the more common you have a valuable. [00:08:30] In other words, the more abundant a commodity, the less it's valued. And that is true in the physical sense, but it's also true of our words. So the more that we multiply our words, the less, generally speaking, the less people. The less the amount of weight that people put on our words also decreases, because our word. We say everything all the time. We talk about everything, and we give our opinion readily. And we. You know, preachers are really bad about that. Oh, my goodness. Aren't they? I mean, you bring up any subject, you know, like, we just came through the resurrection Sunday right. And so there's always a question, what day did Jesus die? And it's like, you can't bring that subject up with a preacher and man. I mean. I mean, they gotta argue. They gotta argue, they gotta multiply their words. [00:09:20] But the Lord says, we gotta be careful of that. And I don't know about you, but I would prefer that when I do speak, that there's more attention paid to it because I speak less, which is a biblical principle, rather than just talking all the time and filling the space, because that will cause people to put less weight upon what we say. So that's one aspect. Look at chapter ten. We're already there. Verse number 19, one of the most familiar verses on this subject in the multitude of words. [00:09:53] There. Wanteth not sin, but he that refraineth his lips is wise. Now, don't get confused. Wanteth not sin. That doesn't mean the more you talk, the less you want to sin. No, no, no. It's referring to a lack of sin. [00:10:07] To want is to lack. And so it says, this describes the way that sin is related to our lips. So you could say it like this. The amount of sin with our lips is a function of the number of words we speak. So the more words, more sin. More words, more sin. Now, why is that? It's very simple. Because in our nature. [00:10:35] In our nature, we tend to lose control of what we say and to lose discretion. And so the easiest and the simplest way for us to sin is with our mouth, probably. Well, unless you maybe count your thoughts. But on the outside at least, the easiest way to sin, it comes out so easily, is with our tongue. And so knowing that fact, we should guard ourselves. I mean, in other words, you and I ought to have a view of ourselves that we remind ourself and are aware of the fact that if we give ourselves an opportunity to sin, we will do it. Right? [00:11:21] If we give. That's why the Lord says, make no provision for the flesh to fulfill the lusts thereof. That's why he tells us, like we're talking about the strange woman, not even to get within earshot of the strange woman, to run away. Why? Because we know this ugly old nature, this adamic nature we have, it loves to sin. And if you give it a chance, it will do it. And that's. That is also true of our words. The more we use them, the more likely they're gonna be used for bad. Just. Why? Because they're coming out of an old sinner's mouth. Right? And so we just. That's something we have to be very careful of, you know, in James chapter three, the Bible says to leaders in a church, to teachers and preachers, it says, be not many masters, for we will receive greater condemnation. But what is the reason? [00:12:07] You go to the next verse in James three, two. [00:12:10] And the reason is because of our words, because preachers and teachers and those that handle the word of God talk more frequently than other people because that's their role. And I thought, man. [00:12:27] And then from there, the Lord's sprint uses that, of all things, as a springboard to jump right into the whole passage about the tongue and the dangers of the tongue. I think we, you know, preachers need to take a. Take a note about that, maybe, but all right, look at chapter 13, verse number three. The Bible says this, he that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life, but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction. The idea being there is no. There is no limiting factor to what we say. [00:13:01] In other words, whatever is in our mind, whatever is in our heart comes out of our mouth and that we covered that before. How? That you have the eye gate and you have things that come into your eyes can affect your heart. We saw that previously. But this is the reverse. What comes out of our mouth is also a reflection of what's in our heart. So there's passages by which what is in our heart comes out and then comes in. [00:13:29] But notice this. Destruction. It says, shall have. But he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction. This is destruction of his own making. It's just a warning. Just a warning. [00:13:41] Our tongue will get us in trouble. Look at chapter 14, verse 23. [00:13:51] In all labor, there is profit. But the talk of the lips tendeth only to penury. That's just poverty. [00:14:00] So you have the contrast between work and talk. Work and talk. You know, this actually touches on some other things we'll say, but even this morning, when we look at the message this morning, we are all about talk, aren't we? You know, our world's all about talk. Make it sound nice. Make it sound nice. But that doesn't help. You earn a dollar, you talk about work, doesn't make you earn a dollar. You actually have to work. We can talk about how much we love the lost, but if we don't actually reach the lost, there's no profit. It's penury. It tended to penury. You think of penury in the spiritual sense of people who still are without the gospel. You know, again, and that goes to our christian culture. You know, learn to talk the talk right learn to say the right words. Learn the vocabulary. Yesterday, we went to an area in our evangelism. We knocked on doors in Berea and Brother Ben, Brother Mark, it was not like that. It's like, everybody knows the. Everybody knows the talk. Everybody knows how to talk. Everybody knows the right words. They know the right lingo, you know, and they. And that's. Honestly, it's kind of hard to deal with. You can press, but, you know, it's a fine line. You know, it's a fine line because you can press to the point where you just. They might be the child of God. I mean, you don't know. So you just, you probe and you try to do your best and ask the Lord to help you. But again, it's not about words. [00:15:32] You need to also have the accompanying work. That's what we see here. Look at chapter 15, verse number 28. [00:15:42] The Bible says, the heart of the righteous studieth to answer, but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things. Again, in the second part of that verse, you have the idea of the floodgates open, no restriction in the words. It always is going to lead to problems. [00:16:01] So we should get used to. Should we not? We should get used to the. The sensation and the feeling of having to hold our tongue. That should be something we're familiar with, right? [00:16:15] We should know what that's like, you know, because all of us have a tendency to say things we shouldn't. All right, so notice in verse. [00:16:23] In verse 28, here it says, the heart of the righteous studieth to answer. That tells us that a question has been posed. A question has been posed. That's why the word answer is there. So a question has been posed. But notice, our first inclination should be to hold our tongue. We might know the answer immediately, but the first inclination should be to hold the tongue to study the answer. That doesn't mean go to the library. What that means, simply, is that we ponder it, we consider it, we examine it. [00:17:00] It might be that our first answer is the right answer. But then it might be there's another facet to it that we didn't see at the beginning. But here, the key to that, the key to giving the right answer is to not answer immediately. See that? The key to giving a right answer is to not answer immediately. And I think I was talking to, I think sister Amy, and we were talking about, you know, she had mentioned in sales, you know, they want to. You know, they. They lay it in front of you, and you have to make a decision at that moment, at that moment, you don't have time to think. You either do it now or it's lost. And that's true. And. And that's where. That's where I'm also like. Then, no. You know, if I have to make a decision right now, I don't have the chance to study on it. [00:17:47] Then. Then the answer has to be no. [00:17:50] But you can't do that unless you learn to just hold your tongue. Right? That's the key. That's the key for all of us. Chapter 17, verse 27. Look at that. [00:18:09] Chapter 17, verse 27. Says, he that hath knowledge spareth his words. And a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit. All right, now, notice that knowledge. You see, this man has knowledge, and his knowledge has taught him. And perhaps taught him through painful experience. How many. Can I get a witness here? Bad use of the tongue. Foot and mouth syndrome. [00:18:34] Okay, I guess I'm. That's fine. I'll stand alone here. That's fine. [00:18:38] I know it's true of all of you. You as well, though. Just because it's a human problem. [00:18:44] No, but job 13, verse five. I thought this cutting remark of job was good. Listen to what he says. O, that ye would altogether hold your peace. And it should be your wisdom. [00:18:55] That's good. [00:19:01] And actually, verse 28 in chapter 17 addresses that directly. But anyway, knowledge has taught this man. It says, he that hath knowledge spareth his words. Knowledge has taught this man that his tongue is inclined to say stupid stuff. [00:19:18] My wife is grinning back there like a peacock because she knows that I said some very, very stupid things when we first got married. [00:19:30] And occasionally she reminds me of them and gets a good laugh out of it. [00:19:36] And I just kind of hang my head because I said them and it was very dumb and. But anyway. [00:19:44] So knowledge teaches us that our incline. Our tongue is inclined to say stupid things. We know our own nature. [00:19:52] And you know, no matter how guarded we try to be with our tongue. That's not the key. Remember? You can't tame your tongue, James. Three. You can't tame your tongue. I can't tame my tongue. [00:20:03] The tongue can no man tame. Remember that? We talked about that. The tongue. Can no man tame. Only God can tame it. Only God can tame it. So we ought not try to be taming our tongue. You know, you can't always be on guard. So the Lord says, just hold it. Just kind of hold it and we'll get to an even funnier verse in just a minute. No one can be guarded all the time. [00:20:27] No one can be guarded all the time. So we have to be. [00:20:33] It's best to just spare your words rather than guard what they say. [00:20:39] All right. Notice this. Just something you've probably noticed as well as I've noticed. It talks about in verse 27. It talks about knowledge. A person that has knowledge spares his tongue, his words. [00:20:52] Some of the most arrogant people, if you. You'll know, are also some of the most talkative people. [00:21:00] Think about it. Some of the most arrogant people are some of the most talkative. Now, I'm not saying that someone who is naturally talkative is equal to being arrogant. But if you find an arrogant person generally, you'll find someone who talks. Arrogant people are not quiet people, generally. But why is that? I think it relates to this verse. [00:21:20] You see, arrogant people do not. They have a high view of themselves. [00:21:25] They view themselves as generally right. They don't take precautions by understanding that they're faulty. And they might make mistakes and say things they shouldn't say. [00:21:37] They're arrogant. They think everything they say is going to be good and right, and everybody needs to hear it. And so you know what they do? They talk. [00:21:44] You see? And that's. I think that's the connection between the two. Whereas a person who is. Who has knowledge is humble enough to understand that, you know, I'm liable to say stupid. [00:21:58] And so I'm gonna just hold back. [00:22:03] In their arrogance, they don't believe their tongue will get them in trouble. Of course, the Lord knows better. Verse 28. Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise. Note the word counted. And he that shutteth his lips is esteemed. Note that word and a man of understanding. So in this verse, we're not talking about a fool or a wise man. We're talking about someone who has the appearance of a fool or a wise man. [00:22:31] But this does tell us that. So even if we're not. Even if we're not wise, even if we are given to stupid like we often are, there's one way to short circuit that and not let everybody know, and that's to just not speak as much. Right? I mean, I know I'm being. I know this is kind of cutting a little bit, but, you know, it's true. I mean, all of us have felt this pain. All of us have felt this pain. [00:23:02] But it also tells us something that whether we perceive it or not, how others view us is based on the number of words we speak. At least in part. [00:23:16] That's what this verse says. He's counted wise. He's esteemed a man of understanding. [00:23:21] And look, that judgment only is. This is what other people think about us. Well, here's one way we can find out. Do they hear us talk a lot or not? [00:23:31] All right, look at chapter 29. [00:23:41] Chapter 29, verse 20 says, this. Seest thou a man that is hasty in his words. There is more hope of a fool than of him. This relates to the answer to studying to answer. In other words, just stop. Right. This is what the Lord is saying. Stop. Don't let your mouth get out in front of your brain. [00:24:11] Right? [00:24:13] Say amen. Right there. Amen. Right there. [00:24:16] So the solution is to slow down, which requires restraint, saying fewer words. All right. [00:24:23] I don't know. Some of you give me a look like man. I wish he'd move on to something else. [00:24:28] Just joking. Chapter 30. Chapter 30. Verse number 32. [00:24:37] This is funny. [00:24:39] This is funny. If thou hast done. Verse 32. If thou hast done foolishly in lifting up thyself, so note the pride. Right, there's pride. [00:24:48] Or if thou hadst thought evil, notice there's a thought in the heart. We talked about that a minute ago. [00:24:55] Lay thine hand upon thy mouth. [00:25:00] I mean, that's funny. He is actually. The Lord is actually saying, physically cover your mouth. That's how foolish we are. [00:25:10] Yes, sir. [00:25:11] Literally, for years, every time I read that person, I put my hand in my mouth. It's just like a. [00:25:18] It's true. [00:25:20] It's true. [00:25:22] The Lord. I mean, is that not funny? You know, we want to take everything, you know, figuratively. The Lord says, cover your mouth. And we're like, okay, I won't say as much. No, put your hand over your mouth. [00:25:34] That's pretty cutting. I would say almost borderline insulting. But, I mean, I didn't say it. The Lord said it. It is a funny picture. Look at 31, verse eight. Chapter 31, verse eight. [00:25:49] This is the last verse I want to look at for this set here. But notice this is one place where the Lord says to open your mouth. By contrast, open thy mouth for the dumb. In the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction. Open thy mouth, judge righteously and plead the cause of the poor and needy. There are times when the Lord says, if you close your mouth, you're wrong. You need to open it. [00:26:12] We're going into missions conference here in the next couple of weeks. This is one of the circumstances. Look at verse eight. Open thy mouth for the dumb. That is, those that can't speak in the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction. You know what those missionaries come here and do? You know what they're doing? They're doing exactly that. They're coming. They're opening their mouth for those that can't speak, because those that can't speak are appointed to destruction on the fields where they labor. And they're letting us know, hey, there's a need, we need to be paying attention. And I'm opening my mouth and I'm letting you know of the need. And that's one reason we have missionaries come in, so that they can speak for those that can't, you know. And so that's, that's, that's part of our missions conference, the way we properly use our mouth when the Lord says, open your mouth. Now, we have just a few minutes. [00:27:05] Let's go back to chapter ten really quick. [00:27:08] And I want to very briefly consider the, the subject of slander and tale bearing, because this is also about words. [00:27:18] Now, slander, both of these are mentioned in proverbs, and I'll have to abbreviate it a little bit. But slander and tale bearing are a little bit different. Slander is a false or malicious statement or utterance intended to injure, defame, or cast distraction on the person about whom it is made. So that's when you speak evil of someone. [00:27:42] A tale bearer is one who officiously carries reports of private matters to gratify malice or idle curiosity. I love the word officiously. It means they spread rumors and secrets as if they are the ones appointed to do so. So that's what these two mean. Notice this is in this subject of slander and tale bearing, there's a question of whether what you're saying is true or false, whether it's private or public information, whether it's good or whether it's evil, whether our motives are good or whether our motives are evil. All these things go into it. So let's look at chapter ten, verse twelve. [00:28:29] Hatred, stirreth up strifes, but love covereth all sins. [00:28:35] Now, what this is talking about is, in the case of private sins, love dictates that we should cover them. [00:28:45] Now, this simply means that we don't repeat them. [00:28:49] There are things you know about people that nobody else knows about them, evil things that they've done. [00:28:57] Now, all this is saying is, out of love for them, we don't spread it. And I'll say this plainly. [00:29:05] If we do spread evil that we know about people, and especially if we do it with maliciousness, you cannot say you love that person. That is not love. [00:29:19] Now, what we're not talking about in this case is when we actively enable and facilitate someone hiding wickedness when action is actually warranted. Now, that's different. That's something separate. But this is talking about private, private sins. And listen, all of us have them. [00:29:39] Look, everybody that lives with us, that sees us brush our teeth in the morning, knows that we have faults and we mess up when we're at home. Look, every one of us knows that. [00:29:50] And love dictates that. We just don't spread that around. Because, remember, the person who spreads that also does that. [00:30:00] Right? So we just got to be cognizant of that. [00:30:04] Look at chapter eleven, verse nine. [00:30:11] Just says a note 17. Nine says this. [00:30:16] He that covereth a transgression seeketh love, but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends. [00:30:24] Chapter eleven, verse nine. Notice what it says. An hypocrite with his mouth destroyeth his neighbor, but through knowledge shall the just be delivered. [00:30:32] Notice this. [00:30:34] It could be that the person here, the neighbor, actually did the shameful deed. It might be that he actually is guilty of that thing. [00:30:46] But the choice to spread it or not is ours, right? [00:30:52] Just because they did the deed doesn't mean we have to destroy them with it. It could be that the deed will end up destroying them, which we hope not, but, you know, it could be that. But that doesn't mean we have to actively attempt to do that. See, what this verse speaks of is more of our own motives and our own heart than anything else. But notice in verse nine, it says, an hypocrite with his mouth destroyeth his neighbor. So the person who's spreading the bad thing, it's called a hypocrite, because often the one who spreads the sins of others does so to make themselves appear righteous. You know what that is? That's fakery. That's being a pretender. [00:31:39] And he says, verse number nine. [00:31:43] Well, let's go on. The next verse, verse 13. [00:31:49] I know, I'm going fast. We just have two more verses and we'll be done. Verse 13. A tale bearer revealeth secrets, but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter. [00:32:00] This is unlike the one we just read. This is spreading private affairs. [00:32:10] Now, in verse number nine, that's private sin. In this case, it's just a private matter. It might be good, it might be bad, it might be whatever we should. This verse dictates that we should respect people's privacy and their discretion when something should be revealed. Right? [00:32:26] We defer to them about their private matters. Is there not burning lips in us when we hear something and we have to tell somebody else. The Bible describes that as burning lips. [00:32:37] When we. That urge where we have to tell that. Listen, that's that old wicked nature. We don't need to respond to that. [00:32:48] Let other people tell their secrets if they choose to, or their private affairs. Not all secrets are bad. Right? Not all secrets are bad. All right. Lastly, chapter 16 and verse 27. [00:33:11] An ungodly man diggeth up evil and his lips. In his lips there is a burning fire. Notice that a froward man soweth strife and a whisperer separate his chief friends. Notice the description of the digger. The digger. [00:33:30] So the digger in verse 27 is spreading the evil that another did. [00:33:37] And yet, who does God call out in verse 27? [00:33:42] He does not call out the person who did the bad thing about whom he's gossiping. No, no, no. God calls out the digger and the digger. He fancies himself to be righteous because he's telling about what someone else's sin. But he doesn't realize. But by doing that, he's actually condemning himself. For the Lord has called him out. The digger is actually no more righteous than the old, the original sinner. [00:34:12] And then you have. Lastly, in verse 28. In 27, it mentions the burning fire of the lips. And then, verse 28. A froward man soweth strife and a whisperer separated. Chief friends, let me ask you a question. If we are talking about something about which we feel we must whisper, should we be talking about it to begin with? [00:34:34] Right. [00:34:36] If we know knowledge of somebody as something they've done or whatever, if we have to whisper it to others, is that something we should be talking about? The very fact that we whisper it indicates that we know better. We know better. [00:34:49] Just a very, very cursory overview of one of the topics in proverbs. Let's pray together.