Wise Use of Our Words (Part 4)

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Okay, let's go to proverbs. And brother Ari kind of made a nice segue into our lesson because he quoted the verse we were talking about last time when we were speaking of the Lord Jesus. And I'll just do a little bit of review, but before we do that, let's go ahead and pray first, and then we'll begin. So let's pray together. Lord, thank you for the opportunity to meet together with your people, Lord, the best people, the people in whose lives the grace of God is stamped indelibly and permanently and in whose lives you've worked. Lord, thank you for working in me and working in all of your people here through the gospel and for saving us and changing us and making us into who we are, Lord, and we desire to grow further. Help us, Lord. Help each person here to grow as we study the word, Lord, give us one heart, one soul, Lord, and one desire to do what your word says and learn from it, Lord. So bless our time today, but not only here, but also downstairs, as the teachers teach the kids down there, please give them grace and wisdom and understanding. Help them, Lord, to do what they do with all their heart and help the kids to pay attention. Help them to understand and grow from it. And so, Lord, we ask your blessing upon all these things in Jesus name. Amen. So we were reading, and brother Ari quoted rather in Luke chapter six, around about verse number 43. No, okay, I got the wrong verse. You were quoting Luke, Luke four. That's it. I'm sorry. I just wrote down the reference in my notes, and I didn't write down the reference from last week. So Luke chapter four, where the Lord goes in and reads the scripture, and it's noted of the Lord that he said that verse 22, look, 422 says, and I'll bear him witness, and wondered at the gracious words which proceeded out of his mouth. And they said, is not this Joseph's son? And so the idea being, although we often concentrate on the warning, rightful warnings, about the negative words and tones and things that come out of our mouth, we should remember. Yes, sir. He says, what if you keep reading. [00:02:35] Speaker B: That chapter less than 30 seconds later? [00:02:40] Speaker A: Exactly. So the Lord wants us to use, and we'll see it. We're going to look in the New Testament a little bit to get started. But the tongue is both ways. It's negative and it's positive. And so the Lord encourages us. He doesn't just say, don't say the bad. He says, replace the bad with the good. So that means on purpose, intentionally, actively using our words, thinking beforehand about how we can use our words for good. Have you ever come to church and thought maybe somebody was on your mind and you actively and intentionally thought, I'm going to say something to encourage or try to at least encourage someone when I come to church and see them, to lift them up and edify them. That's a biblical thing to do. That's a biblical thing to do. But our Lord set the example for us, as he did in everything. And every word he spoke was a word that was filled with grace in some measure or another, and people noticed it and his words, and this is what we. I'm just reviewing a little bit. His words were not like the words of other people. You know how we know that? Because people said, people bear him witness, all bear him witness, and wondered at the gracious words that proceeded out of his mouth. In other words, the words that the Lord spoke set themselves apart from every other kind of speech that it would commonly be heard. It was noticed. It was noticed. And this should be the case with our words as well, of course. And so we have the divine testimony of the character of Jesus words and helps us to understand how he spoke so that we don't taint kind of the character of our Lord with what we think his manner of speaking was. John 746, when they came to visit, visit the Lord, or actually they came to arrest the Lord. They said, never man spake like this man. All right, so we see all of this, and we see the gracious words of the Lord. But what I want to turn to now is further into the New Testament, where it's not just by example. The Lord tells us that, but the Lord gives us, actually exhorts us and gives us an admonition to use our words for good. So let's look at Ephesians, chapter four. We're still in proverbs on the subject of the mouth, the words, the lips. But we want to cover this just to see where it overlaps with the New Testament as well. Ephesians, chapter four, verse, verse number 28, says this. Well, let's read just a little bit of the context, bounce around a little bit. Verse 20. Verse, verse 22. Notice the pattern and the form that's given in a number of these verses. Okay. Verse 22 says this, that you put off concerning the former conversation. The old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man, which after God, is created in righteousness and true holiness. So this is where the contrast between the old man and the new man is introduced. Okay, so you have this evil and good kind of contrast. Now, of course, the old man refers to our nature and the way we were before we knew the Lord. And the Lord says that that needs to be put off, but replacing that needs to be the active righteousness of the new man. I think in Christianity generally, I'm just speaking broadly, so much of our preaching, I know of what I've heard growing up in the Lord, and that kind of thing is all directed toward not doing the evil. And obviously we should not do the evil, right? What the Lord forbids, we should not do. But it seems that less emphasis is placed on actively doing the good. So you get in this void area, this maybe gray area, in which maybe you're not doing the evil, but you're also not employing yourself to do the good. So you're kind of just idle. We're kind of just idle, just not doing evil good. That's a good thing. But then also not employing our members, as the Bible says, for righteousness on purpose, actively. But the Lord wants us to do that. I want to tell you something. When you do that, when I do that, when we employ our members, in this case, what we're talking about is our mouth, our lips, right? When we employ our words for righteousness, that is where the fulfillment is. The fulfillment is not just from not doing stuff that we should not be doing. That's really just a matter of avoiding the pain of sin, right? And the pain of a guilty conscience before the Lord, because we've disobeyed him, and we should avoid that. But much more than that is the active good and the fulfillment we get from obeying the will of the Lord. Listen, how many of you have been saved long enough and have walked with the Lord long enough to know the joy that comes from obedience. [00:08:22] Speaker B: Amen. [00:08:24] Speaker A: And active obedience. That's what we're talking about. That's where the joy for the Christian is. It's not just keeping away from the bad. Yesterday we were out doing our evangelism, and brother Ben was riding in the front seat with me. And of course, evangelism, I've said this before, it's not a mystery. Evangelism is hard work because a lot of this world is not really friendly to the gospel. We met a lady, well, charity and I met a lady who goes to a Methodist church. And she was very nice, but the gospel was not really something she was all that interested in, right? Because she's been taught mainly, most likely that basically you just do good and love your neighbor and everything will be okay. And the gospel is not really in focus, right. It's just kind of in the background. And we meet a lot of people like that. If they're not hostile, they're just kind of ambivalent. So a lot of times evangelism is not like the teeming mass is waiting for you to arrive with the gospel. So here's the thing. But we do it because the Lord wants us to do it. We do it to please the Lord. We do it to show compassion, to make a difference. Right. In people's individuals lives. So we were coming back from our evangelism, and coming back is always a time of joy. We're talking about who we've talked to and what opportunities we had. And as we were driving back, I was talking to Ben, because on Google earth, I have an overview of the different areas and neighborhoods that we're trying to go to have been to, places we want to send mailings and things like that, and we're working through that map, right. Well, as we were driving back, I started to notice the road that we were taking back. Like everywhere that we were driving through, practically, we had already knocked all the doors. [00:10:29] Speaker B: Amen. [00:10:30] Speaker A: I mean, we started knocking doors again, restarted that, and I think in August of last year. So it's been, say, August, September, October, November, December, January, February and half of March. So we're seven and a half months. And a huge chunk of Berea, at a minimum, have received gospel tracks. And many we've personally talked to, some we personally talked to anyway, and we saw that. And there was a sense of what? Of satisfaction, of joy. When I thought that, and like, man, well, praise the Lord. We were able to get some things done, and maybe we didn't see everything we wanted to see. But putting the fruit aside for a minute, there's a certain level of joy and contentment and satisfaction before God that comes from putting forth an effort to actively do righteousness, right, not just avoid the evil, but do the good. To me, I was glad. I was glad for the grace of God that had enabled, able us to do that. And of course, there's a lot more to do if you look at our map. So you see that here, put off the old man, put on the new man. Don't just stand there with no man, right? I don't know how you describe that, because the reality is, as long as we have the old man, if we don't actively put on the new man, you know what will happen, the old man, he'll take over. He always does, because he's good at that. And that's our wicked nature in the flesh. Look at verse number 25. You see this same good and good and evil pattern. Wherefore putting away lying. All right, that's the old man. That's what we used to do, right? I found out today, this past week, rather, that there are some people that think I was talking to my wife about a situation. And the person that she was talking about, she mentioned how that they tell white lies. I mean, this is not a person that should be doing this. Obviously, nobody should. And I was like, are there people that really think it's okay to bend the truth and tell little white lies and stuff? Apparently there are. That's the old man. That's the old man. White lies, black lies, red lies, polka dot lies. They're all lies. Anyway, I just thought I should touch on that a minute. He says, wherefore put away lying? Speak every man truth with his neighbor. For we are members one of another. You see, the active use of truth. So we're not filling our mouth with lies, but with truth. Verse number 26. Be ye angry and sin not. Let not the sun go down upon your wrath. Neither give place to the devil. Verse 28, let him that stole, steal no more. That indicates what they were doing in the past, right? That's the old man. Theft. And theft, of course, comes in many. Not, you know, going into Walgreens and stealing makeup, know, toilet paper or whatever. I don't know whether people steal, but there's. Theft comes in many forms. But notice what it says. The contrast is the good part that the Lord wants us to employ is labor for the purpose of helping those that have needs. Let him rather, let him labor working with his hands. The thing which is good that he may have to give to him that needth. Now we get to our verse. Verse 29, let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth. That's the bad. That's the old man. The new man is this. Replace the bad with active good, but that which is good to the use of edifying. Now, here's where it intersects with what we're talking about, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. We talk about the Lord's in Luke four. The Lord Jesus, his words were gracious. The Lord says, how should we actively employ our words in such a way that we give? The grace of God is ministered. That just means give, given, provided to another person the grace of God. Our mouth is a vehicle to give people the grace of God. You think about the grace of God. It's not just about the gospel, although that's kind of the pinnacle. But the grace of God comes in virtue, right? Strength, wisdom and knowledge from the Lord. Encouragement, all those things. In fact, you see it in verse 29, in the middle of the verse, says, but that which is good to the use of edifying whatever it is that builds someone up our mouth should be used in that way. That's why I say sometimes when we come in and we thinking about somebody or praying about somebody, or we see somebody, maybe that hasn't been in a while, like Brother Pete. Brother Pete's been sick. Of course, he don't tell a soul, and I have to call and ask him because he keeps it secret. No, but brother Pete's been sick, so when we see him, we ought to be like, hey, brother, it's good to know. Uplift and encourage him because he's been down. And I'm sorry if you didn't want me to say anything about it, but that's what we should do, is lift up one another. And sometimes that means we actively and intentionally employ our mouth to do it. This is using our mouth for good, which is what we're on. [00:16:10] Speaker B: Hey, preacher. [00:16:11] Speaker A: Yes, sir. [00:16:12] Speaker B: We stopped to think about those gracious words. The word grace basically means it's help, and in one sense, it's God's divine help. And so when we speak gracious words, they're to be helpful words to benefit someone else. I think so often that when we use that word grace, we're always thinking, well, it's God's riches at Christ's expense. But in reality, grace is God coming to us in our time of need, helping us. And so, therefore, if we're to have gracious words, then our words are to be helpful, beneficial, as you are saying. [00:16:49] Speaker A: To other people, on the coattail of that, you think of the grace of God as the help of God coming to our aid and assistance. And that is absolutely right. But God's grace, following the definition of grace, God came to our assistance and help, not because we asked him to. It was not a response to our request. It was God's initiative to do that. And now, how does that play to the grace that we should employ using our words, right. And that is, we should not only respond in helpfulness and edification and encouragement, like we read here, in response to what someone does to us nicely. We should be the initiators of that contact, right? It should be in our heart, we know the grace of God and we pass that grace on to them, not as a response, but just because it's in our heart, you see? Yeah, exactly. See? And that's what shows. That's one aspect of the definition of grace, is that the initiative is in God's court. He took the initiative to come to our aid in the gospel and in every other way. Right. So that's what it means to show grace in our words. That's what I'm saying. You come in and it's not. You're paying some good. See, here's the way the world does. The world is nice and says nice things. If you're nice to them, it's an answer. It's a repayment. But that's not grace. You know what that is? That's a wage. Even the Lord said to the Pharisees, I'm going to butcher the. So I'll just paraphrase. The Lord said, if you show kindness to them who do good to you, what think have ye? The Pharisees do that? Right, but it's when you take the initiative. Not as a repayment for what someone has done good to you, but you take the initiative. That's grace. That's the grace of God flowing through us to others. All right, let's look at another one. Colossians chapter four. Just a few pages over. I think oftentimes we look too lightly upon the power of our words for good. In other words, we're aware that our words can bring harm because we felt the sting of that harm when people have said things, unkind things to us and things. But sometimes in the same way that our words have power for evil, they have power for good. And I think we look lightly, too lightly upon that. And you and I have a real power between our lips to help and encourage someone for good. But again, what's the tendency, though? The human tendency is to just stay silent. It's good enough if I just don't say anything evil or mean. Whoa, whoa, whoa. That doesn't meet the standard the standard is doing. Speaking well, speaking good, edifying. [00:20:04] Speaker B: Amen. [00:20:05] Speaker A: All right, Colossians four, verse number six. Now, we covered this when we were talking about the offerings. And I'm going to test you on it, okay? I'm going to test you. Let your speech be all the way with grace. Seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man. Now, what did we talk about in the offerings? All the offerings were to be seasoned with salt. In other words, they were to sprinkle a little bit of salt on all the offerings in the Old Testament, what did that represent in our study? Oh, man. Silence. It's right in the verse, verse six, it represents grace. In other words, in every offering, whatever that offering represented, even if it was the meat offering or the peace offering, which weren't, necessarily, it symbolized different aspects of our relationship to God, right? But even that was overshadowed and seasoned by the grace of God. Right? That's the salt. Everything was salted. And the Lord says, here, our words are to be salty, not in the navy way, but in the right way. So our words should be once again with grace. And notice this, verse six. Again, let your speech be all the way with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man. Now, this how ye ought to answer speaks not only of what we say, but how we say it. So you could say, well, how do I answer them? It could be the words, but it also could be the manner in which we speak. And that's kind of where I want to kind of transition in our study. So what we do know that is no matter what we say to someone, and sometimes those are unpleasant things and sometimes they're uplifting things, it should be seasoned with grace, graciousness, kindness, courtesy, generosity of spirit, considerate, tactful, magnanimous. This should characterize our speech. Does it characterize our speech? It's a good question for all of us, myself included. Again, just as a review, you can contrast this with what is so often, what so many preachers in particular are known for, which is the opposite of graciousness. They view Jesus as brash and harsh, cutting. Hateful, maybe. Hateful, that's kind of a loaded term. But they present Jesus as someone who beats his chest and is full of arrogance and rejoices in rebukes and censures. And that's not the way he was. He did that, but that was not characteristic of his speech. So that should hopefully gives us an overview of kind of the character of our words that is pleasing to the Lord. Following our Lord's example, now let's look at Proverbs chapter twelve. And as we transition to the how we ought to answer every man, I want to just briefly look at this, because this is one of the themes about the lips and the words in proverbs, proverbs twelve. And here's the principle. Okay? The principle is the how and the win of our speech. The how and the win of our speech is something that greatly influences the effectiveness of our speech, whether what we have to say is positive and uplifting, or whether it's corrective and unpleasant. In other words, it's not just about what you say, but it's how and when you say it. Okay, you'll see what I'm talking about. You know what I'm talking about. Obviously, this is self evident, but you'll see it from the scripture in just a minute. Proverbs twelve, verse 18. Who quoted this? Was it Ben? Yeah. There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword, but the tongue of the wise is health. Now, health refers to the physical body. I mean, primarily, although there's a spiritual aspect to it. But notice there is that speaketh like a piercings of a sword. So you could say that this refers to the words you choose to say. And that's true. That's what you say. But this could also directly apply to the way in which you say those same words. Some people use words and say those words in such a manner that it wounds everybody that hears them. The piercings of a sword. How many of us like that? Right. It's like, oh, yeah, I have something to say. It's like you're bleeding and the Lord is denigrating and condemning. That kind of speech. Be it the words or be it the manner in which we speak. Do you think. Listen, I know sometimes what we have to say is difficult. And you have to use, and we have to use, all have to use discernment when we talk about these things, because sometimes excuses are used. Well, the Lord said to speak graciously, so I'm not ever going to say anything that's corrective. Well, that's not right. You couldn't do that with your kids. Right. On the other hand, we say, well, the Lord said to rebuke, reprove. So you forget about the rest of the verse. Right. But reprove, rebuke, exhort. Right. With all long suffering, there's the grace, right? And doctrine. So people emphasize that, and they think everything they should say should wound everyone. Everything has to be sharp. It doesn't have to be that way. So we have to use discernment to know how to apply these things in such a way that our words do end up the way the Lord wants them to be. Look at chapter 15, verse one another of the way we speak. A soft answer turneth away wrath. But grievous words stir up anger. So you see, soft answer versus grievous words. These are contrasted in this verse, juxtaposed for Miss Lynn, because she's a lady of letters, juxtaposed. So these words are set in opposition to one another. It says this. What I want you to see in verse one is this anger. In this verse is already there. Anger is already present. That's why it says a soft answer. So someone's already talking to us angrily. They are already angry. Okay, so this is not necessarily referring to any other situation, but a situation of response. Anger is already present. Now, what is the temptation? Be honest. When someone speaks to you angrily, what is the temptation? That's what you're supposed to do when they're not weighing green. Exactly. The natural. And this is where it goes back to what we just said. The old man and the new man. All right. The old man does what is natural. This whole world is operated on the principles of the old man. So whenever someone's. You're driving down the road and someone cuts you off, right? And that happens. Sometimes they don't see you. So you tap your horn. And tapping your horn is equivalent to pulling a gun in Greenville. I don't know why, but you tap your horn. I remember one time I was a teenager, and I was driving on White Horse road right near the clock there. Some of you know where that is. And I was trying to just get the story. Anyway, this guy was. He was turning around in the middle of white horse road. He was doing like a uturn in the middle of the road. And I wanted to make sure that he saw me so that he didn't hit me, right. So I tapped my horn. I mean, literally just. Man, that guy went berserk. That guy went berserk. I kept going, and next thing I knew, he flew up beside my car. I had turned into the median to turn left, and he flew up beside my car, thankfully. I mean, he is a big, burly scottish guy, right? I mean, he's redheaded. Big, burly redheaded guy. And so I was in the meeting. He flew up beside me like this, but he just so happened that he pulled so close that he couldn't open his car door. And I almost got into a wreck turning into where I was going. I just want to get away from the guy. I was like, what? I could have been 16 or maybe 17. But, hey, when that happens, sometimes somebody cuts you off or whatever, and you tap your horn and they come at you in anger. That happens. People fly off the handle. Their expectation is that you're going to answer that with anger, because that's the way of the world, the way of the old man. This is what they think is normal. And it is normal. That's what people normally do. But the Lord hasn't called us to be normal, right? Just like Jesus. Words weren't normal. They were unique. They were different. So when someone answers us in anger, the way to be a peacemaker is a soft answer. You know what that requires? That requires a high level of humility. It requires you to be walking in the spirit at that moment, which means you have a consistent walk with the Lord. Forget it. If you don't forget it, the old man takes over the way you speak. Look at 15, chapter 15, verse 23. Chapter 15, verse 23 says this, a man hath joy by the answer of his mouth. And a word spoken in due season. How good is it? A word spoken in due season. You know what this is? Timing. Timing, timing. Just because words bubble up in our mouth does not mean they need to come out. Is this the best and proper time to say this thing, even if it's a good thing? Now, we can use timing as an excuse to avoid saying things that should be said, right? But on the other hand, haphazard timing, where we don't care about the timing, we just blurt it out, is also the other ditch we can fall into. And when we do that, when we have bad timing and we do not consider beforehand when we are saying what we are saying, in addition to how we are saying what we're saying, what happens is what is good words do not have the intended effect because the timing is bad. So that's something to pay attention to. The Lord tells us that. I thought about people that I even heard someone recently about someone, their child was killed as a result of a crime, like a murder. And someone said, well, all things work together for good, that's true. But that's a prime example of bad timing. That's bad timing. So even if what happens is when we do that, and I know that's kind of an extreme example, but when we take a good word with bad timing, we rob the good of the good. Right? Rob the good word of the good. It's intended to, because that person says, well, all things work together. I mean, they have good motives, they're trying to comfort, but it falls flat. So this requires the discipline for us to stop and consider when to speak. And you know what? The stoppage. When we're talking about our words, one of the most important things we can learn to do is just stop, because you can never. Just like Brother Joseph said, a multitude of words. We're going to look at that later. The fewer words we speak, the safer we are, right? So the best thing to do is just tap the brakes. And sometimes that gives us a chance to think about timing. And sometimes it helps us avoid saying dumb things altogether. Yes, sir. [00:33:24] Speaker B: When to say that falls on my part. But also there are some individuals that regardless of what you say, the timing is never going to be. [00:33:37] Speaker A: There's never a good time. [00:33:38] Speaker B: There's never a good time. [00:33:39] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:33:39] Speaker B: And so it's like, wow. And you know as well as I do in the ministry, sometimes you're in situations where you, as a minister, you might have to say something. And it's like you're trying to be diplomatic. You're trying to be very cautious because you're wanting to help the situation, not to inflame the situation. And it's like, how do I go about this? And sometimes that's a very difficult thing to find, just as that proper timing. When and how I should go about sleep. [00:34:19] Speaker A: And in our heart, sometimes we really just want to avoid it because of the effect of it. Again, it takes wisdom to discern these things. All right, last verse. Proverbs 25, verse eleven. This is one of the go to verses on how and when we speak. You have the word. Verse eleven. Proverbs 25, verse eleven. A word fitly spoken. Now, that could be timing or manner, right? Suitable. That could refer to either one. A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. Now, here's the comparison. The apples in this case. This is a difficult verse to understand, to be honest with you. But even if we don't fully understand the proverb, with this cultural context, we can understand the point. The apples of gold refer to the actual words, the pictures of silver. The picture of silver refers to the presentation of the words, the timing, the manner. So this is similar to the presentation of our food. How many of you think food tastes better if it's presented nicely versus just slopped on the plate? Of course, my wife's raising her hand because that's important. Her presentation is important when she sets the table and that kind of thing. Well, you know what the presentation of your food is. It doesn't change or alter the taste of the food, but it makes you think it tastes better. And that's the whole point, right? When you say something good, in particular apples of gold, you want that to be received as good and have its full effect. Well, the way you do that is presentation. Presentation. Because after all, food and proper presentation always tastes better, right? Brother York is like, no way, man. I just dig in. That's the tendency of men, I think. But that's also a tendency of our words, right? Just plow through it. But anyhow, so presentation, the manner, the timing of our words, so that it has the most effect. For good? For good. Let's pray.